it's 1 am now. hav been doin nothin since juz nw. mostly sleeping and smsing wif my sis and cfcs patient.
once in a while, i ponder:
what am i doin here?
why am i here?
is becoming a doctor my true calling?
why i chose to become a doctor? i'm stil seeking for the answer till now.. the thought of becoming a doctor never crossed my mind at all before i got my spm results. i simply chose this profession because:
1. i couldn't think of any other career tat can suit my fantastic spm result
2. i'm interested in biology.
such a stupid thinking right. haha. after all, my result is not tat fantastic compared to my frens here. i'm reali a "katak di bawah tempurung". my dad did discourage me to take up dis profession due to its hardship, but i insisted and naively thought tat it's not tat tough to become a doctor..along the way, i did feel tat i might live happier if i pursue another degree instead of medicine. but, no regrets though..
am i goin to be a good doctor in future?or juz like any other ordinary doctor who becomes doctor juz because of its highly respected profession and think of nothing else except earning as much money as they can? i came across doctors who shouted at patients and treat patients badly (mayb out of frustration due to heavy workload in the hospital), who cut the patients open unnecessarily juz bcos they wanna earn extra money (eg. A private doctor who performed C-section when the pregnant mother still hasn't delivered the baby in time, he din even try hard enough to induce spontanoeus labour), of course, he can earn much more by doing the C-section than juz spontaneous vaginal delivery... i did get reali upset by the attitudes of these doctors. but if i were to put myself in their shoes, will i do the same thing as well? will i scold the patients when i get stressed up and agitated? will i let go the chance of earnin extra cash when there is a good chance laying right in front of me?? although at dis moment, my answer will be a definite "NO"!
it's still a long way to go before i become a doctor though..
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6 comments:
haha.. everybody has doubts about that. including me.. important thing of all. believe in youself and do wat's right!
yeah, for me i know it's my calling. of cuz whenever u face hardships, solve it, make their mistakes your learning opportunities. and keep learning... be humble
i don know why i wan to take medicine course. All i can remember is that my father submitted the form without my knowledege...then when i wan to enrol the A lvl prog in my school, i recv the letter from IMU..tehn i came all the way to bkt jalil for the damn idiot interview..that;s how i ended up here...
yueh wei,,,,bu yao pa....i am here...
Follow your inner needs, as you are living to fulfill your own wishes, medicine or not does not matter, for the job satisfaction is the utmost importance for the rest of your life.
Anything will require effort, for there is nothing such as "free lunch", so leave no stones unturned! Medicine is a tough line, as they step into the patient's shoes of different ages & walks of life, feeling exactly what the patient has.
May god bless you in finding your dreams.
thanx a lot, anonymous. once we step into dis profession, i guess there is no turnin bak rite. we juz hav to move on and on..
i do wana help patients and i reali hope i can become a competent doctor in future, but i'm not sure if i can do tat..
by the way, may i noe who r u, anonymous?
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